Being Yourself: the solitary and secluding process

With the warmest season ahead of us, I drink an iced coffee made from my press as I type and edit. I've been enjoying my iced coffee recently and savoring it for as long as I can, often finishing it at work.

 Hygge is comfort. When striving for the hygge lifestyle, you are also striving for comfort; comfort in your clothes, home, and your skin. It's so important to feel comfortable with yourself, sometimes by yourself. I'd like to clarify that hygge prioritizes spending time with family and those closest to you, but it's important to find hygge within yourself as well. 

A lot of people who have antisocial tendencies, or dislike big crowds and having plans, gravitate to the hygge lifestyle because it creates the sort of safe atmosphere that they crave. This type of person might not have trouble being alone, but some people who are discovering hygge might not realize it's part of the process of transforming a current lifestyle to a more hygge one. Journaling and meditation are great ways to integrate more alone time and discovering who the self is, but so its shopping, lunch dates, and self-care. This can be a little weird and uncomfortable at first, so it's best to start small. Take yourself on a picnic one day this week, or give yourself a pedicure. This is not necessary specifically to hygge, but what is necessary is knowing who you are and what you value so that you are not led blindly by other people. The Little Book of Hygge says "togetherness" is integral for hygge and happiness, but I also believe creating hygge for yourself and only yourself shows that you value and care for yourself.

Have you heard of the saying, "if you can't love yourself, how can you love someone else?" It's the same with comfortability. If you want to be comfortable with the person, or people, you surround yourself with, you want to start with being comfortable with yourself. Once you are by yourself, you'll learn more about yourself and maybe you'll discover that certain beliefs don't align with others like they did before. And maybe you'll become comfortable with yourself, but others won't follow you in the process. For example, you are realizing you like more of something, where your friend does not. Or, you are liking the person you are allowing yourself to be, and you're having more fun and feeling relaxed, but your friend does not. You might feel like resorting back to the person you were because you don't want to risk losing your friend, but unfortunately, that is why finding and being yourself is a solitary and secluding process. At least, at first. You'll start attracting the people who want to be around you and people who will care about you. The true self is something to be celebrated, not hidden away, especially for the sake of someone else. No one should have to forsake their own comfort for someone else when the action is not reciprocated. Though, some people might leave, you are making room for those that will appreciate you for who you are and enjoy the same things. So, yes, finding yourself and being comfortable alone can be lonely, but it does not have to stay that way. Maybe you find that you do prefer being alone after all, but you won't know until you try. The most important thing is that you are happy.

Thank you for reading <3